Spaceport Fear



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Spaceport Fear takes the basic concept of an airport, removes the possibility of ever actually leaving it, locks everyone inside for four hundred years, and then watches humanity respond by turning Business Class and Economy into rival religious factions.

Honestly, I am amazed it took Doctor Who this long to discover that airports are inherently dystopian.

The Doctor and Mel arrive at Tantane Spaceport expecting the usual arrivals and departures, only to discover that there have been no departures for generations. The surviving inhabitants have divided themselves into two tribes, Business and Economy, each developing their own customs, language and social structures. Duty Free has become a mythical paradise where nobody has to work, while the arrival of outsiders who can literally bring the lights back on has become known as “bringing the summer”. It’s a wonderfully daft premise, but one that Gallagher takes surprisingly seriously.

The setting is where the story really shines. Tantane feels like a decaying Gothic society built inside an airport, with the grandiosity of Gormenghast and the dysfunctional tribalism of The Face of Evil or Paradise Towers. The different factions aren’t merely decorative either. Their separation provides a fairly pointed examination of class, privilege and how arbitrary social divisions can become entrenched when nobody remembers why they existed in the first place.

At the centre of this is Elder Bones, played by Ronald Pickup with precisely the sort of unsettling authority you want from a man who has spent four centuries maintaining a civilisation built around a gigantic lie. His relationship with his young protégé Naysmith gives the story a useful generational angle too. She represents the possibility that this bizarre social order might actually change, while Bones is deeply invested in preserving it.

Then there is the Wailer, a creature lurking throughout the lower levels. Initially it appears to be the obvious monster of the week, but Gallagher wisely makes the real threat considerably more human. The Wailer is less villainous than misunderstood, while Bones’ manipulation of the two factions is considerably more sinister. The story’s examination of fear works particularly well here: people become easier to control when they are frightened of something they don’t understand.

Colin Baker is, naturally, excellent. The Sixth Doctor arrives and immediately starts poking at the entire social structure with the subtlety of a man driving a steamroller through a china shop. Bonnie Langford is equally good, and Mel gets some genuinely worthwhile material. Her technical skills, eidetic memory and practical courage make her an active participant rather than simply someone standing behind the Doctor waiting for the next corridor to explode.

There are weaknesses. The script has rather a lot going on, and some of its various ideas don’t gel quite as neatly as they could. The Wailers themselves are somewhat underdeveloped, while the central mystery can become muddled. The whole thing also feels like it could have benefited from another draft. One contemporary review similarly noted that the many good ideas don’t quite come together, while praising the cast and sound design.

Still, the atmosphere carries it. The sounds of the different areas, the claustrophobic corridors and the bizarre customs make Tantane feel like a place rather than simply a collection of sound effects.

Final Thoughts
Spaceport Fear isn’t quite the masterpiece its wonderfully weird premise promises, but it’s an entertaining, atmospheric and genuinely imaginative adventure. The class commentary, grotesque setting and excellent Sixth Doctor/Mel pairing make this a thoroughly enjoyable listen, even when the plot occasionally starts throwing luggage around in random directions.

4 out of 5 Duty Free shops that have somehow become the promised land.

The Wrong Doctors



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The Wrong Doctors takes one of the strangest continuity problems in Doctor Who, throws two Colin Bakers, two Mels, several dinosaurs, a murderous Victorian gang and some 1980s venture capitalists into Pease Pottage, and somehow emerges with a story that is considerably less confusing than it has any right to be.

The basic premise is wonderfully silly. Mel’s television debut is, chronologically speaking, completely backwards. The Doctor meets her during *The Trial of a Time Lord* when she is already his future companion, despite the fact that, from his perspective, they’ve never met. So The Wrong Doctors finally asks the obvious question: how on Earth did that first meeting actually happen?

The answer is: badly.

One version of the Sixth Doctor has just left Evelyn and is heading towards Pease Pottage to meet Mel for the first time. Meanwhile, a slightly younger, freshly post-Trial Doctor arrives to return another Mel to her own timeline. Cue two Doctors, two Mels and a village which has apparently developed a serious dinosaur problem.

And then everything gets worse. In the best possible way.

Matt Fitton’s script is essentially a celebration of continuity nonsense. Rather than treating Mel’s bizarre introduction as an awkward hole to be quietly filled, it embraces the absurdity and makes the temporal confusion the entire point.

The real delight is hearing Colin Baker play both versions of the Doctor. The younger incarnation is brash, arrogant and quick to leap to conclusions, while the older Big Finish Doctor is noticeably more mellow and emotionally intelligent. It’s effectively a conversation between the television Sixth Doctor and the Doctor Big Finish has spent years developing.

And Colin absolutely nails it. You can hear the distinction immediately, particularly when the two Doctors start arguing. It’s one of those performances where you remember just how much Baker has grown into the role. Big Finish took the Doctor who had been unfairly saddled with an abrasive personality on television and allowed him to become something far richer, then put that older version in a room with his younger self and let them bicker. Wonderful.

Bonnie Langford is equally good. The two Mels are differentiated without making either feel like a completely different character, and the story gives Mel something she desperately needed: an actual beginning.

Then Fitton proceeds to fill Pease Pottage with dinosaurs, a World War One-era Women’s Institute figure, a gang of violent Victorian-looking youths and a pair of alien businessmen attempting to monetise time itself. Because apparently temporal capitalism was the only thing missing from the story.

Thematically, the story has some surprisingly thoughtful material beneath its comedy. Identity, destiny and the idea of becoming the person you already know you will be are central to the plot. The older Doctor is effectively meeting the person he used to be, while Mel is confronted by versions of herself separated by experience. The story asks whether our future is something predetermined or something we become through the choices we make. It also quietly celebrates the Sixth Doctor’s evolution. That makes the chaos worthwhile.

If there’s a weakness, it’s that the plot occasionally becomes so enamoured with its own cleverness that the actual villains and conspiracy feel secondary. The alien entrepreneurs are entertaining, but they’re largely there to facilitate the temporal shenanigans rather than provide a particularly compelling threat.

But honestly, that’s fine. This is a story about two Doctors and two Mels meeting in the wrong order. The plot is allowed to be ridiculous.

Final Thoughts
A wonderfully chaotic, funny and surprisingly affectionate piece of continuity surgery. The multiple Doctors and Mels are handled brilliantly, Colin Baker gives one of his best Big Finish showcases, and Bonnie Langford gets the proper introduction her character never received on television. It occasionally gets buried beneath its own temporal cleverness, but when it’s working, The Wrong Doctors is an absolute joy.

4 out of 5 time-travelling village meetings where the first thing you see is a dinosaur and the second thing you see is yourself

1001 Nights 



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1001 Nights takes the Fifth Doctor and Nyssa, throws them into a perfumed palace ruled by a clever Sultan, and then decides that the best way to tell a Doctor Who story is to tell several Doctor Who stories while somebody tries not to get murdered. I approve.

The framing device is the star. Nyssa is imprisoned by the Sultan and forced to entertain him with tales of her travels with the Doctor, buying time while the Doctor investigates a mysterious prisoner and tries to work out why someone appears to be impersonating him. It gives the whole anthology the flavour of *The Arabian Nights*, with each adventure becoming another layer in the mystery. It is a clever structure, and Sarah Sutton gets to carry an enormous amount of the drama.

The first tale, My Brother’s Keeper, takes the Doctor and Nyssa to an isolated asteroid prison containing a solitary prisoner and his equally solitary warder. It’s a story about trust, isolation and the question of who is actually the prisoner when both sides are trapped by the same situation. The ideas are good, although the resolution is quick.

Then comes The Interplanetarian, which is basically Doctor Who does demonic possession. Nyssa becomes host to an alien entity and the Doctor has to play space-age exorcist. It’s fun enough, and Peter Davison throws himself into the silliness, but it’s the weakest of the three tales. The possession narrative is familiar, and Nyssa’s connection is barely exploited.

Then we get Smuggling Tales, and suddenly somebody has turned the good stuff back on. This is my favourite of the three, because its central idea is gloriously weird: a society where stories themselves function as currency. The tale folds storytelling into its own narrative structure, playing with the value of information and the idea that a good story can be worth more than treasure. It gets deliberately tangled at points, but that’s part of the charm.

And then the framing story comes roaring back for the finale.

The Doctor and Nyssa’s situation becomes increasingly sinister as the Sultan’s true intentions emerge. He’s not merely interested in Nyssa’s stories. He’s fascinated by the Doctor’s identity, and eventually attempts to steal it for himself, hoping to use the TARDIS to escape. It’s a lovely conclusion to an anthology obsessed with storytelling and identity. Who you are can become a story other people tell about you, and the Doctor’s identity is perhaps the most powerful story of all.

Alexander Siddig is excellent as the Sultan, balancing charm and menace, while Sutton gets strong material. Jamie Robertson’s sound design also gives the palace an appropriately dreamlike atmosphere.

Final Thoughts
A clever, varied anthology held together by an excellent framing story. Not every embedded adventure lands equally, but the Arabian Nights structure works beautifully, the performances are strong, and the final exploration of identity gives the whole thing a satisfying thematic spine.

4 out of 5 increasingly desperate Sultans demanding one more story before everyone can go to bed

Disaster Queers
Book Two: Emmlie’s Eleven

A Queer Heist, Priceless Jewels, and Absolutely No Plan

The Disaster Queers have partied hard since they saved the city from the rampaging ucimoeptrix, drinking away their prize and continuing getting into even more bar fights! But when a memory from Emmlie’s hidden past returns into her life, the opportunity for the heist of a lifetime becomes too irresistible to turn down. It is the perfect job – and it’s not like the last one of those turned out too badly. Right?

But Victoria comes with an agenda of her own. Does she have the success of the team in mind, or is she just out for herself?

Now, the Disaster Queers (and Jolene, the kistune just tagging along for now, until something better comes up – she promises) must break into a luxury casino for the heist of a century!

Expect:
✨ Queer found-family hijinks
✨ Plotting, scheming, and calamity
✨ Shapeshifting shenanigans
✨ Priceless jewels, card games, George Clooney, musical interludes

Disaster Queers—where fantasy meets absurdity, and being a queer disaster is a full-time job.

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